#resilience

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to remain calm in the face of disaster while others appear to come undone? The answer is resilience. Resilient people are able to utilize their skills and strengths to cope and recover from problems and challenges while keeping their cool when experiencing setbacks.

It's human nature to resist change--particularly when it comes in the form of adversity or challenges. Unfortunately, change is inevitable, and developing the trait of resilience helps us not only survive change, but also learn, grow, and thrive in it. Resilience is the capacity to cope with stress and adversity. It comes from believing in yourself and, at the same time, in something larger than yourself. Resilience is not a trait that people are born with; it involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone at any stage in life. If they want it.

Now, more than ever, is a great time to strengthen your resilience during the current COVID-19 pandemic we're all experiencing. How are you coping with the day to day stressors? Are you anxious, uncertain? Trust me...these are all normal feelings but if you want some ideas on ways to experience personal growth through this time, keep on reading. It's also a wonderful time to teach your children healthy coping habits and I'll be sharing those tomorrow.

Look on the Bright Side

Often when bad things happen, we get stuck thinking about negative outcomes. We repeatedly think about what we could have done differently in the past, or how we are going to mess up again in the future. We ruminate on these events, because we mistakenly believe that thinking about our hardships over and over again will help us solve them. Unfortunately, negative thought cycles just get us caught up in our thoughts, instead of taking the actions we need to move forward. So...let's start by re-wiring how we think about things. When something adversarial occurs; take the time to think about what you could have done differently and then think of what positive takeaway you have from that situation. Sometimes you don't always know this right away but rest assured, there is meaning in everything and one day you will see "why" you endured what you have along your journey.

Embrace Failure

Unfortunately, many of us avoid failure at all costs. We do so, because we are afraid of failure; we worry that people will think poorly of us if we fail, and we feel ashamed when we fail. But by treating failure like a disease to be avoided, we never give ourselves a chance to overcome challenges and practice resilience. As a result, we prevent ourselves from becoming more resilient. So how do you conquer your fear of failure, so that you can start building resilience? If you think failure is a threat, like many of us do, your body will prepare for a fight — and you’ll feel like you’re in a battle. Instead, choose to view it as a challenge and I bet you're more likely to think you are capable of handling it. For all my "How I Met Your Mother" fans... think of it as, "challenge accepted." To build this “challenge mindset,” reflect on past challenges that you’ve overcome. Take a moment to think back to other goals you’ve achieved. Remind yourself that you have been successful at things in the past, even small things. When you remind yourself that you have succeeded before, you can help shift towards a challenge mindset. Next, visualize success. By imagining yourself doing well, you shift your mindset to do well. On the other hand, if you flood your mind about what could go wrong, your fear builds, and the failure you fear becomes more likely. Keep in mind that even if you are able to shift your brain to stop seeing something as a threat, you may feel nervousness or anxiety, but you'll also experience positive physiological changes that can help you make better use of these negative emotions

Find the Value in Past

Don't try to solve problems with the same thinking that created them.

Resilient people do not make the same mistake again and again. They're willing to be honest about why they failed and they take the time to think about what didn't work.

This too shall Pass

Learn to control your emotions before they manage you. Trust me, this is easier said than done, coming from someone who wears her emotions on her sleeves. Resilient people have a positive outlook. They remind themselves that much of what they're facing is temporary, and that they've overcome setbacks before and can do it again. Resilient people learn focus on what they can learn from the experience vs playing the, "woe is me."

Be Strong

Through my personal hardships, my kids have witnessed